By: Don Bowman, Moroni Channel
United States of America
A family plays together outside with water guns and a hose.
We blame, blame, blame, and never tire in seeking who’s fault it must be. Judgement, criticisms, and assumptions are looked for around every nook and cranny. We must by all means solve the great mystery of who or where the root of the problem lies. We must fine the important piece of the puzzle, that finally allows us to feel, that we have accomplish some great feat, in finding out why a certain behavior or event happen. We then proceed on, to banter or blame the culprit. Not only to blame, but to repeat over and over again, the blame in words that are caustic, sharp, and harsh filled with resentments and bitterness. Yet, if we look closer, the one who blames, even if it is not the injured party, is instead himself or herself, filled within with a certain arrogance, a militant behavior, not understanding forgiveness, neither mercy or grace. They understand not, that they themselves need mercy and grace for their own sins and weaknesses, as if they have never been the “so called cause” themselves. Playing god they relentlessly determine judgements, punishments, and even set up their personal standards, of what it then takes for another to be remorseful and to bring about the necessary actions for repentance.
This is a personal issue and should be done in a state of freedom. Making adjustments, repenting, and overcoming certain tendencies should be between God and oneself. It should not be dictated by another, as one would compel another to certain measures.
We blame others for the misdeeds, and traits of our children. We blame bishops, other church leaders, members, spouses, and parents. We even blame others, parents of others, or of our children, sometimes bad behaviors. We blame away! We humans, some, have a great need when they see some dysfunctional happening, to asses blame somewhere, everywhere, so as to be able to face the problem. It for some reasons allows them to feel safe and guilt free, that they are solving the problem of both, the one who had the bad behavior, and the one that caused this person to behave so poorly. Therefore they often absolve the one who behavior was in error, and then blame the one who they think caused the one to behave badly. Who can understand such a thing.
Where, oh where is the spirit of God in all this. Where is the agency, and gentle reminders, promptings, suggestions, that can work on the heart of man for change. We can not, and should not use force or coercion in any manner to correct the behaviors of men. They must be allowed to change for themselves. They must fight these battles with the help of the spirit and with gentle persuasions and loving assistance from love ones and others. Yet, if we set up a battleground of blame filled with the fire of harshness it will bring about acrimony and resentment causing despair bitterness without relief. This unnecessary battle will rage on, not giving way to the needed necessary battle for change.Christ went about doing good. Can we even envision Him pointing blame with a caustic temperament to the poor, sick, and sinful that He walk amongst? Yet, be times, and with hypocrites He was sharp, yet even then, He said His peace and then moved on. He was sadden by their unholy deceitful behavior.
We need to stress personal responsibility we need to act for ourselves as the scriptures tell us. The scriptures and teachings of the church are laid open to all. Most all, know what they basically teach as they teach us how to behave. There should be little to no excuse, of blame of others, for the conduct of ones own behavior. We also should not blame others for the behavior of our children or any other. When we do so, we can run the risk, in some way, to enable the incorrect behavior. We also judge condemned and execute another for his or her role in this process. God Forbid.
Philippians 2:12 states Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.
Hugh W. Pinnock said this;
“Of course, heartache and pain can be spilled upon us by dishonest, manipulative, or unkind people. Accidents happen that can inflict terrible pain and sometimes lifetime disability. But to judge, blame, and not forgive always intensifies the problem. It pushes healing further into the future. It is not responsible.”
Blaming brings contention, strife, and despair building up walls tall and thick. It compounds a already existing fire while building little fires round about. Stress anxiety and trauma are sure to abound making all things worst and more complicated, causing grief and sufferings. Let us be mindful and kind, and not busybodies rooting out unnecessary harmful blames, that cause the fires to aflame. Each one of us is responsible for our own actions, for our own overcoming, and for our own repentance. Let us aid, give assistance when needed, but let us lay aside blames one for another. If God does not blame himself for the poor choices of His children, why should we then pounce blame on one another.
But those who cry transgression do it because they are the servants of sin, and are the children of disobedience themselves.
Dr. Don W. Bowman
Dr. Don Bowman is a Dentist with more than 38 Years of experience planning, developing, implementing and practicing Dentistry. He had all the skills to operate a large practice of Dentistry including, accounting, marketing and the handling of the employees. He served in the navy for Two Years. He won awards in marketing for yellow page add and radio add. Married to a lovely wife for 43 years and have 7 Children and 35 Grand Children. He also served as a Bishop, a high counselor, an Elder’s quorum president and a Stake Mission President.
University of Louisville – Louisville, KY
Minor in French and was trained in orthodontics in Columbus Ohio.